I get called out by the Creator.

Numbers 23:19: "God is not a man, that He should lie, nor a son of man, that He should change his mind. Does He speak and then not act? Does He promise and not fulfill?"

I'm just going to come out with it. I haven't been trusting God... at all. Last summer He said He would heal me, and He said it again at winter retreat a month ago. But I've just blown Him off, not really believing He would, or that He even could. I told Him He was awesome and powerful and that He could do anything... but then I turned right around and told myself that He couldn't do anything for me. I told other people how awesome my God is, how he created the universe and how He holds the beating of our hearts in His hands; all the while forgetting that I, too, am His creation. That I, too, am a sheep in His flock. I told Him, "Lord, you are the Good Shepherd," but I forgot that His care and protection extends to me, too. And so God decided to remind me of exactly who He is, who it is that I'm doubting. It all started with the Bible study I went to on Thursday morning before school started. The topic? God's perfect timing, and waiting for it with patience and faith. The example used was Lazarus: Lazarus was a close friend of Jesus, but one day he fell mortally ill. His sister Mary sent a message to Jesus, trusting that if he came he could heal Lazarus and prevent his death. However, Jesus waited a few more days, knowing full well that Lazarus would die in that time. When he finally arrived at Mary's house, he went to the tomb where Lazarus was laid to rest. Then Jesus called to the dead man, "Lazarus, come out!", and he came back to life. Seeing this miracle, many of the Jews who were there mourning Lazarus put their faith in him and were saved. With this on my mind, I went home at the end of the day and went on Facebook. While I was checking my profile, I noticed the daily Bible verse application that I have up. That day's Bible verse was from the story of Lazarus' resurrection, which we had discussed that very morning.

John 11:40: Then Jesus said, "Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?"

Not gonna lie- this hit me like a sledgehammer. It was God rebuking me, loud and clear, for doubting Him. He didn't stop there, however. In the past two days I've happened across two other passages speaking directly to my unbelief:

Romans 8:28: "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them."

2 Corinthians 1:19-20: "For the Son of God, Jesus Christ, who was preached among you by me and Silas and Timothy, was not 'Yes' and 'No,' but in him it has always been 'Yes.' For no matter how many promises God has made, they are 'Yes' in Christ."

And also this, from Crazy Love by Francis Chan: "I wrote this book because much of our talk doesn't match our lives. We say things like, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me," and "Trust in the Lord with all your heart." Then we live and plan like we don't believe God even exists. We try to set our lives up so everything will be fine even if God doesn't come through. But true faith means holding nothing back. It means putting every hope in God's fidelity to His promises." (page 168)

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Father God, I'm so sorry that I've doubted Your promise to me. You promised me that You will heal me, and that You will always be with me. Who am I to call You a liar? How can I fear the thorn in my side when Your right hand holds me steady, and Your left keeps Satan at bay? Your Word tells me that You have known me since before I knew myself. You have a plan for me, a plan to prosper me and not to harm me, a plan to use this thorn in my side for Your glory and Yours alone. Whether or not this burden is removed from my life is Your decision to make, not mine; and I submit myself to whichever outcome will bring glory to Your name. I will not give the enemy a weakness to exploit by feeling bitter about the way You made me. If this thorn in my side comes from You, oh Lord, I will consider it a blessing rather than a curse, for whatever comes from You has a purpose and a meaning. Father God, break down the walls of fear and comfort and security which I hide behind, so that I can look upon Your face with eyes clear of the fog of doubt. Search me, oh God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. Amen.

The blood of the sacrifice

Deuteronomy 12:23, 27: "But be sure you do not eat the blood, because the blood is the life, and you must not eat the life with the meat... Present your burnt offerings on the altar of the LORD your God, both the meat and the blood. The blood of your sacrifices must be poured beside the altar of the LORD your God, but you may eat the meat." (NIV)

There's something to be said for repetition. I've only read five books of the Old Testament, and already I've lost track of the number of times blood is mentioned. We are told how to use blood as an offering of atonement, sprinkling it upon the sanctuary of the Tent of Meeting; we are told how to present the blood of animal sacrifices when making an offering to the Lord, sprinkling it a certain number of times on the altar; and we are strictly prohibited from eating the blood of our meat, instead ordered to "pour it out on the ground like water." Each of these uses of blood is outlined in the first five books several times over. (It makes for some pretty upleasant reading, if you ask me.)

But if something is mentioned that many times, I figure it must be important. But until reading this passage, I only vaguely understood why the Old Testament seems to have such a fascination with blood. Here in Deuteronomy 12, Moses says that blood is- quite literally- the life of the person or animal it belongs to. And he says that when you sacrifice an animal on the altar, lifting it up as an offering to Lord, you may eat and enjoy the meat; but the blood, the life of the animal, must remain on the altar. I see this as an analogy.

We are the animal; the blood of the animal is our blood, our life. When we accept Christ, we are free to take our newly sanctified selves and live in joy and peace and freedom. But our blood- our plans, our lifestyle, the wants and desires and hardships that make up our lives- must remain on the altar, in the presence of our God. We must pour out the blood of our self-sacrifice at the altar of the Lord, and hold nothing back; and He will hold nothing back from us.

Romans 6:5: "If we have been united with him [Jesus Christ] like this in his death, we will certainly also be united with him in his resurrection."

Finding God in our messed-up world

Hey, Amanda here.

So I'm doing this thing with my church where I read three chapters from the Old Testament and half a chapter from the New Testament every day, so that by the end of the year I'll have read the entire Bible. Not gonna lie- the NT is a whole lot more interesting, and sometimes I skip the OT reading. Consequently, I'm like ten chapters behind. Last night, after I'd made this blog with Rebecca and then gone home, I decided to sit down and catch up on some of my OT reading.

I'm currently in Deuteronomy, reading about how God brought the Israelites into the promised land of Canaan, driving out their enemies before them. I found something in Deuteronomy 4:25-31 that had a ring of familiarity to it- even though that story happened thousands of years ago, it sounded exactly like our lives today. Allow me to paraphrase:

In Deuteronomy 4:25-28, Moses says, "After you have lived in the promised land a long time, if you then become corrupt and begin to make idols for yourselves, doing what is evil in God's eyes by turning away from him to worship those idols instead, you will perish from the promised land. You will be destroyed. The Lord will drive you out of the land he gave to you, scattering you among the nonbelievers, and many of you will die. You will become corrupted and worship the nonbelievers' idols, which can't see, hear, eat, or smell."

Then Deuteronomy 4:29 says,"But if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find Him if you look for Him with all your heart and all your soul." Deuteronomy 4:30+31 goes on to say that we can return to the Lord from the ungodly place we banish ourselves to. He waits eagerly for the day when we return to him, never giving up hope that we will, never banishing us forever from his presence: "For the LORD your God is a merciful God; he will not abondon or destroy you".

When I read this, my mind kept going back to verse 29. In this day and age, the people of the world are like the Israelites after human nature caused them to sin and fall away from God. Now we are all scattered, deceived by the enemy so that our confused hearts don't know what is truth and what is falsehood. The result is a world culture hostile to God and desperate to find lasting fulfillment anywhere but in him. There's so much junk in our world, so much that can lead us astray and cloud our judgement; and even the most steadfast believer isn't immune to its affects. It gets to us; it seeps into our hearts, bringing doubt and confusion. It blinds our eyes to the things of God, until all we see is the mundane, and we wonder, "How can there be a God in such a devestatingly average world, where everything is defined by what we see and what we know? Where is God in all the pain and tragedy?"

But verse 29 gives me hope. "...You will find Him if you look for Him with all your heart and all your soul." God is there. He's there to be found, and to be found by you; he calls out your name with a patient and a loving heart, ready to accept you back into his arms, and to count you as one of his children. And here's the most important thing: You can find Him from wherever you are- China or Canada, the US or Africa, even Antartica. You can also find Him from wherever you are in life- whether you've got it made and are riding the wave of success or trapped in the most hopeless of circumstances; whether you've been living sinfully or following Christ since childhood.

I'm not just saying that. I can't promise much in this blog, but I will promise this: I'll never say something I don't mean with all my heart. And if there's one thing I've learned in the year and a half since I accepted Christ, it's that my God isn't just some "force" hovering somewhere in space, somebody who maybe looks down at us on Earth from time to time; somebody who maybe cares about us, but probably not; and definitely not a pet that I can order around, a toy I can put away when I'm done playing with, an equation I can put limits on, or something that I'll ever be able to understand. I can testify to the Lord's great power and greater love, and I've seen the work of his hands in my life and the lives of others. I've heard his voice, and will again. I could say it's only because I am seeking him with all my heart and all my soul that I've seen him move in this world, but that would be a proud and thoroughly mistaken assumption. The point is, he's there, close enough to touch- or rather, close enough to touch us. And the more you seek him, the more you will find him, and diving into this relationsip with our Lord brings clarity and joy to a thoroughly messed-up world.

(For more on finding God, please read Jeremiah 29:12-14.)

What is UP?!

It's the question everybody's asking. What is up with the world today? What is up with presidents who say but don't deliver, taxes constantly rising, and potholes everywhere?

Amanda:
We're asking, what is UP with the world today?! We are discontent with the state of contentment our society and our fellow Christians have fallen into. It's like everywhere you look, people are saying "just do what makes you feel good." Newsflash: our purpose in life isn't to "feel good." Doing what makes us happy isn't our reason for living, nor should we try to make it so. Our purpose is to be the men and women our Creator has called us to be, to imitate His son in all we say and do. It won't always make us "happy." It won't always "feel good." Just like working out in the gym, following Christ feels terrible sometimes while you're doing it; but a) it'll build muscle and prepare you for the Big Game we call Life (see James 1:2-4: "the testing of your faith produces steadfastness"), and b) there's a reward waiting at the end, and the reward is worth more than the self-indulgence you'll get by relaxing at home.

Rebecca:
People are coming up with excuse after excuse for not wanting God in their lives. When one rejects God (sometimes subconsciously) the person yearns for something to fill the gap. We find ourselves looking into media, relationships, friendships, facebook, and sports to be our "god," yet the biggest help for us in this crazy world is Him. He is calling us and calling us, yet we reject Him. He sends people into our lives, and we turn ourselves away. He sends the Holy Spirit to call us, but our hearts are hardened to the point where we do not even hear Him when He calls. This is why our world is falling apart. People are not looking to God for their source of strength; but to the leaders, "church," and the opposite sex. We need to STAND for what we believe in, and not conform to this world!! Ephesians 5:14 says, "Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you." It's literally telling us to WAKE UP, yet why do so many Christians fall back asleep?